CF Maps – Poker Rewards

You know what makes a cake poker player great? It’s not only the record, not only the bracelets or the millions, or their face up on some Internet gambling site. It’s the poise, the politeness, the kindness while they murder you. It’s losing to them and still wanting to be them.

All glorious traits that completely elude one Phil Hellmuth. I’ve seen enough rants to last me a lifetime from him, but this one in particular is just sickening to watch. From the 2008 World Series of Poker,

So, early table, Hellmuth, of Ultimate Bet Poker gets pocket eights and raises $15K pre-flop. Adam Levy, whom the commentators say is a powerful online player, calls with Queen, 10 of clubs. Everyone else is out. Flop is nine, six, jack. Hellmuth bets $20K and Levy calls, which we come to find Hellmuth didn’t like at all. Turn is an 8, giving Hellmuth a set. Fast forward to after the hand, because the river is no help.

Levy wins a good-sized pot, which sends Hellmuth into a rampage, berating Levy for his moves during the hand, knocking the dealer of all people, thinking he was a different dealer who’d been there longer than one hand, and lecturing the other players who dared chime in while Hellmuth cuts this guy to shreds.

At the end of it, none of what he said matters, of course. He was venting like a little baby, and each time it happens the interest in him as a superstar poker players sours worse than sun-tainted milk. You can’t watch him without shaking your hand. Give me an epic Negreanu/Ivey battle any day of the year over Hellmuth vs. anyone.

The bottom line was that Levy outplayed him, quite convincingly. As Hellmuth unloads on him with childish comments like “idiot” and “probably won’t even make the top 200,” Levy just sits there, exercising impressive restraint and control.

Just because you’ve won in the past and obviously are an expert at understanding the game doesn’t ever give you the right to let your petty emotions get the best of you and treat other players like that.

And, for the record, I would’ve called Hellmuth’s $20K bet, too. A straight draw with two to go, nobody’s betting over the top, only one player to beat…why the hell not? It’s poker, sometimes you have to take a chance. What was it Alexander said in Oliver Stone’s movie? Fortune favors the bold.